Valu(able)?

~ my goal for 2014 is bringing back the joy.  2013 was a difficult year for me.  i struggled through a deep, dark depression, struggled with coming to grips with anxiety and panic attacks, i struggled through the loss of a job, i struggled through the break down (and repair!) of my marriage among all the other day to day issues that tend to creep up.

~ needless to say, while i have always struggled with this, i started to doubt my own identity.  i struggled with my own self worth.  i struggled with looking only at the failures i was or had encountered, rather than at the positives.  i looked at my own self worth by what i had or had not accomplished.  i saw all the things i wasn't and i saw all the things i wish i was.

~ having struggled with depression, i started out on antidepressants and in the process, gained significant weight and saw myself as ugly and a big fat loser.  having struggled with anxiety and panic attacks, i struggled to be out in public and in groups of people, so i saw myself as a loser - inferior to those around me.  ~ having struggled with losing my job and with issues in my marriage, i started to see myself as a failure, as completely incompetent.

~ as you can see, satan was having so much victory in my life.  after several months with a wonderful, godly counselor, i was able to come back from those difficult days and on most days gain victory over those lies.  i was realizing how satan was using a truth (YES i was overweight for example) but he was twisting it to make me believe that i was a failure.  obviously, this was not god's view of me.  

~ recently, i have watched as my 12 (almost 13!) year old daughter, has struggled with how she sees herself.  if she has lots of friends, she thinks that makes her valuable.  if she wears the perfect makeup, she finds value in that.  if she has just the perfect outfit, she feels that makes her valuable etc.  

~ this week i started reading Lysa TerKeurst's book called MADE TO CRAVE (satisfying your deepest desires with god).  what a timely book.  as i have struggled over the last year trying to determine what give me value, i KNOW in my heart of hearts it is only god that gives me value.  everything else will falter.  i have tried to share this with my daughter as well, and we have decided to take on this journey together.  in the very first chapter, there is a "takeaway" note that reads as follows:  "Like every other girl, you have a craving for acceptance, comfort, and provision - and it was put there by God, to be satisfied by Him alone."  WOW.  did she every put that right.  

~ so taylor and i are on a quest to see if we can find our value in god alone.  sure we like our fashion, our friends, our style.  but this next little mini journey, we are going to work on being able to find our value in god and god alone.  what brings me joy?  is it stable or not?  truly only god is stable.  our friends may change, our styles my not add up to those around us, our fashion may become a faux pas.  but GOD - god will remain our constant.  

~ Ephesians 2:10 English Standard Version (ESV)

10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

years ago when i was in Bible school, i did a study on this verse and found that the word "workmanship" in the original is the word "poiema" which means POEM!  we are god's poem.  a poet writes down their most intimate words, feelings and creates a poem.  THAT IS WHAT WE ARE TO GOD!!!!!  so for us to be putting our value in fashion, friends, things. . . wow . . . what a mistake.  our VALUE comes from how god sees us . . . without all those extra things.  our value comes from god. . . he created us in his own image . . . THAT is our value.  that is what makes us incredible.  and when we put ourselves down because of other things, we are destroying god's intent of the poem.  we are making up verses that he did not create.  he created us out of his utmost love for us - and that is what gives us our value!!

~  Taylor & I are just starting on our journey through Made to Crave and i am excited to see where it goes.  won't you join us?  you'll find Lysa's book online here http://www.amazon.ca/Made-Crave-Young-Women-Satisfying/dp/031072998X/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1388769747&sr=8-6&keywords=made+to+crave   

or in many other spots.  join us on our journey to be able to find our value in GOD alone!!!