Monday musings

~ and so it dawned.  the very first monday of 2014.  it brought with it one of the coldest mornings of the year.  ~school divisions were closed, buses didn't run, children stayed home for one extra day - except in OUR school division where everyone was supposed to show up cheerful and ready to meet the day.  REALLY?????

~well those were my thoughts this morning.  i dragged myself out of bed, impatiently waited for my daughter to finish her never ending shower, growled at myself in the mirror, grudgingly made my kids lunches, and finally limped into work.  not wanting to be there, and wishing i was buried back in bed.

~ i firmly believe that god knew i needed my job at the preschool just to get me up out of bed and start my day.  my battle with depression and anxiety is constant.  and so this morning, if i could have had my own way, i would have stayed buried under the covers for the rest of the day.  but before i even knew how much i needed this job, god provided it for me.  i had to get out of bed.  i had a classroom full of 3 year olds waiting for me - not to mention my peers who needed my help as much as i needed theirs.

~ as i drove to work, grumbling about the cold, and the fact that i had to go to work at all, i was struck by the beauty in the southeast.  the sky was pink and purple and orange as the sun was beginning to rise. steam rose from homes and cars.  god had painted a beautiful picture for me to see.  in my grumpy state, he knew what it would take to get me going.  he knew i needed my job to get me going. he knew i needed a sunrise to remind me of the fact that he is still in control.  he knows me - inside and out.  he knows that i could barely utter a prayer this morning.  he knows and he provides.

~ and so i remind myself that not every day will be a mountain top day.  and not every day will be a valley day.  but every day god is there for me.  knowing what i need.  knowing what i am feeling.  knowing the struggle that is in my mind.  i don't even have to voice it to him. . . he knows.  . .

and then there was this. . .

Matthew 6:8 Remember, your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!

~ god knows. . . and i am so thankful for that. . .