I WISH. . . .

 My daughter has a friend over today.  Kind of a last minute thing. . . . But alas, the 4 buddies that my son called up, none could come over.

I wish. . . . that was Peyton's song when he heard sister was having a friend over.  I wish. . . . It's not that I'm ungrateful, but I wish. . . .

Heard those words before?  SAID those words before?!?!?!

What are your wishes?  I wish. . . . for more time.  I wish . . . . I was thinner.   I wish. . . I was a better person.  I wish. . . . I could go on a vacation south (because ALL - yes ALL!! our other friends are going!!!!)  I wish . . . we made more money.  I wish. . . . I could be more like . . her. . . .  I wish. . . . . I wish. . . If only. . . . . . . . oh how I wish. . . . .

What's your wish?  What do you desire?  Okay truthfully, what are you un-thankful for?  As I listened to Peyton sigh, and groan, and lament about just how awful it was to NOT have any friend that liked him enough to pick up the phone (and why does TAYLOR get to have a friend over?!?!?!?!!!!!) I got to thinking about what the real root of the problem was.

And believe me!  It's not just Peyton - I truly believe he has inherited that awful trait from his mother!  *SIGH*  Because believe me, I can sigh with discontent as well as anyone you've ever heard sigh!  And believe me, when I sigh, you KNOW i'm not content. . . . .   I WISH. . . . my record is stuck on SKIP :  I wish i wish i wish i wish. . . . . ETC!!!!

So how do we get over those wishes. . . . those things we wish we could have- but don't.  How do we stop looking to what we don't have?

THANKFULNESS!  That's the key.  If we stopped to look at what we DO have, we would be so much more joyful.  Please don't take this the wrong way.  I GET that sometimes life has thrown us an awful - and mean DOWN RIGHT AWFUL - curve ball.  BUT, are there no good things that we can focus on?  I'm not saying that we have to be jumping up and down with joy because our hearts are breaking, but in even just a brief moment. . . can we find the joy?  Can we find the things that God has given to us?  Because as dark as it might seem. . . . they are there.  THEY ARE THERE!!!!

When sitting down in those quiet times and our hearts go to the things we don't have, can we make a quick adjustment and try to focus on the good things?  The things God HAS given us?  In Philippians 4, Paul talks about being content in whatever situation is presented to him.  WOW!!!  That is so not me - I am so thankful my name isn't Paul (sorry to all you Paul's!!!).  But hold up!!!!!!  Paul or not, God has told me to be thankful.  Not because things are good, but because He has given us so many good things.  He has blessed us with so many things!!!  They might be a little fuzzy at times, but if you are willing to look, you'll find them.

This week, let's try to take our "I WISH" and turn it into "I HAVE. . . "  Instead of thinking about all those things you wish for, think about all the things you have.

I know I don't have to think too much and I could give you a list a mile long.  And I'm going to start listing them in my joy journal right now!!!

Have a THANKFUL weekend my friends.  Let's be thankful for all those things we wished for - and God gave us.  Sometimes even before we wished them!!!!  (and hey. . . truthfully???? Let's me thankful God hasn't given us all we wished for because He knows what's best for us. . . and all we wish for is not always the best for us!!!)

OH GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD, FOR HE IS GOOD!!!!

Where's your NORTH STAR leading you?

Photo Credits to:  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Bennett000

If there is one thing that I love when I go to our cottage, it is sitting outside on our deck, on a crisp winter evening and looking up at the night sky.  We don't have power at our cottage, so once everyone else has turned off their propane lights for the night, and if there isn't a moon in the sky, it is the most amazing feeling to look up into the night sky and see all the millions of stars.  Another favorite time is lying on the docks at night in the summer.  Same overwhelming feeling.  I know very little about the constellations, but my man at least knows more than I do.  At least some of the major ones.  Very often he will try to point out the big dipper, the small dipper, and any others that he knows.  The north star is always one that he is able to pick out.  But for the life of me, I could never tell you which one it could be.

Years ago, and perhaps, by some still today, the north star was used to figure out directions.  If you were lost on the seas, at night, you could always tell which direction you needed to go, by finding the north star and heading into it's general direction.  But doing so, would require you to know at lease SOMETHING about the constellations.  For me, I'd be better off just to stay put rather than following "my north star" because chances certainly would be that I ended more lost than what I'd start out as.  However, if you did know exactly where to find that north star, you could always use it to navigate your way home.

As I've looked at the starts in the past, I have seen the big and small dipper, I have seen the north star (because my man pointed it out to me) but just because I've had them pointed out to me, does not guarantee me success in using it to navigate me anywhere!!!  I would have to do some serious looking and understanding to figure out which star exactly was the North Star.  If I chose the wrong one, I would be in a mess of trouble.  And if I accidentally started following a shining satellite, well, I'd definitely be off course!!!

Isn't that the way with our life too?  What/Who is the north star that we are following to direct our life course?  What are the thing(s) in our lives that we are focusing on that we strive towards?  What do we know about the North Star (God)?  Are we listening to what others are telling us about the North Star, or are we researching it ourselves and finding out exactly how to find it and follow it?  Have we decided that we can take our eyes off the Star and go it on our own for awhile? I know I can see God/North Star, but what happens when I do start following Him?  Do I look down at the area around me, and loose my focus?  Do I look down, see a path and decide that I can follow that path on my own, rather than follow God, my North Star?  Do I look down and see all the "brush" of life around me and panic because I've taken my eyes off of Him?

It sounds awful, but it is so easy to loose my focus on God!  So often, I look down at the "brush" below and think "this is too much. . . this is too awful."  But I've taken my eyes off of Him.  I'm not looking in the direction that I should be.  I'm looking down, when I should be looking UP!  My focus needs to stay on God, my spiritual North Star, because without HIS guidance, I'm lost.  Without His light there for me to follow, I'm just going to go in circles!  AND, if I don't really know who He is, I may easily be swayed by other things/teachings, that are not from God.  Any star might look like the north star.  And what if something shines brightly?  Am I lured by it's brightness or am I striving to focus on the north star, and only the north star?  So often I find myself distracted.  By situations.  By stresses.  By people.  By things.  By my desires.  And I loose my focus.  I take my eyes off of God - my north star.  And it either causes me to panic, or just as often, it sends me to directions of uncharted waters.  It sends me to places I don't want to go.  Taking my eyes off of Him sends me in the complete opposite direction from Him.  

I always thought that when horses had blinders on their eyes it was such a cruel thing.  But I have to admit, there are days I wish I had a set.  Those blinders kind of act like a telescope for our spiritual eyes.  If we have blinders on, our eyes stay focused on what it ahead.  On our North Star - God.  If we are looking only through that telescope to where the north star is, our eyes stay focused on it.  It's when we look away, when we take those blinders off, that our focus is taken off of God.  And when our focus is off of God, it cannot be right.  We will loose our way.  We will loose our charted course.  We will never get to the destination we are striving for.

Join me won't you, as we strive to keep our focus on God - our North Star.  May the things of this earth not entice us - rather cause us to look to Him who gives us the direction and guidance we so desperately need!!! Let's keep our eyes focused on the light and direction our North Star - God - gives to us and follow HIS paths, not our own.

Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
preserve my life according to your word.

-Psalm 119:36-37

Growing boy, or emerging little man?!?!?

EIGHT and A HALF YEARS AGO!!!!!  WOW!  

In exactly 47 days, my little baby boy is going to be turning TEN YEARS OLD!  I really do not know how this happened so quickly.  One day he was this little, chubby boy, reliant on me, and suddenly he is this boy, uncomfortable in his own skin, trying to figure out who he is.

I can say this, that these days of change have been trying.  I knew that girls were hormonal and I was prepared for that in my daughter as she grew older, but I never imagined that these changes that come with boys growing up could be just as crazy.  I have to say, this stage in my son's life has COMPLETELY taken me by surprise.

On some days, I'm not even sure who I have in my home!  Before this past year, my son was a calm, rational, sensitive boy who really didn't challenge too much.  Sure when he was about 5 or 6 he did some exploring as to how and why things happened, but it was never a defiant attitude.  He was always respectful of others, understanding of his sister, and of his friends, and I never worried about any of the decisions he would make.

These days, I'm getting phone calls from the school about behavioural issues.  Not huge, but just out character for him.  I'm having a tug of war with boundaries for him.  We're having the battles of the wills.  We are trying to convince him, that while he think he does, HE DOES NOT know everything.  He is not without fault and failure, and he DOES NOT always make the best decisions.

This once gentle, calm snugglie boy has turned into a stubborn, selfish, anger filled boy. At times, I still do catch glimpses of my little boy, but at times, I look into his eyes and wonder about this transformation I am seeing happen before my eyes.  It's scary!  It's heart wrenching!  It causes me to panic and freak out!  WHAT DO I DO????

As I sit and read about how to deal with a changing 10 year old, I've been reading about the world's view of men.  We don't watch a lot of sitcom type TV shows, but when we have in the past, I have always struggled with the "humor" when it came to the dad.  It seemed the dad was always made out to be dumb. Not understanding his children.  Making blatant errors when it came to anything family.  The Cosby Show, Home Improvement - shows that should be a "fun" family show - but always ended up putting down the dad.  What does that tell our boys?  What does that do for my perspective on my husband. . . on my son. . . How do I treat them after watching many shows like that?  How does my daughter perceive men when that is the image that is being portrayed to her.  Even a simple show like The Flintstones. . . What is that telling our society about men?  What kind of a role model are we giving to our children?

However, bigger than that, I started to think about how I was treating my son.  How does God treat me when I fail?  What does God see when He looks at me?  Failure after failure.  Does He shake His head in disbelief that I just can't get it right?  Or does He take a look inside at my heart?  Does He say, "you're useless!  Why did I die for you?  It wasn't worth it!"  (NO!!)  Or does He look at me, and say "I love her so much that I died for her.  I wiped away all her sins.  And now. . . look at her heart look at what she is doing for me."  He doesn't focus on my sins because He's forgiven them.  Keith & I are being the "examples" to our son of what a parent is.  (Oh Lord, please help us because Oh how we have failed!!!)  True, our son frustrates us.  True, he sins over and over.  But have I stopped to look at his heart?  Have I stopped to think about how he was looking at the situation?  Have I stopped to understand what a difficult time of life he is in?  Have I stopped to lay the ground rules down?  When a situation arises, do I respond in love, or frustration and anger, and if it's the later, how am I showing Christ's love to him?  Have I stopped to think that God has entrusted this precious child to me, and I am responsible for raising him to be a Godly leader in his life?  YIKES!!!  His attitude may scare me, but that thought scares me more!!!!  What am I doing?  How am I reacting??? What am I showing my son, this precious child that God has entrusted to me, what am I showing Him of who God is?  How is God shining through me in my reactions to him? Am I training him up to be a man of God?  Am I training him up to be a man that will potentially someday lead a family of his own? Am I teaching my son about God's forgiveness?  Am I teaching him about how God died for his sins and loves him so much? WHAT AM I TEACHING MY SON - every day. . . every reaction that I have. . . .

Does he see Christ through me?

Puts a different perspective on things. . . . Instead of focusing on all he's not doing right, how about focusing on what I'm doing/not doing to teach him about Jesus' love.

oh how I have failed.  Yes, it is my duty to train him up right.  But it is also my duty to give him an accurate glimpse of who God is.  God is standing in front on me/him saying: "I already died for you. I forgave those sins a long time ago. . . Now. . . .  Let me see your heart!"

Oh God, how I love my boy!!!!!  And I know you love him too, so God, help me to be the best mom possible to my son.  Help me to show him how to grow up to be a strong Godly leader.  Help me to teach/show him what it means to be a follower of you.  God. . . . PLEASE GIVE ME WISDOM!!!!!