I sit here struggling how to put down into words what my heart has been feeling recently.
TWO weeks since my last post. TOO difficult to bring myself to the computer and write down words in my heart.
I struggle with depression and anxiety. TWO major things that I'm realizing MANY women struggle with. It can be a constant battle, or it can be one that suddenly rears it's ugly head and controls my day. Someone recently told me "you always have TWO choices. Give in to the struggle or live above it." I'd asked if she had ever struggled with regular depression or if she'd ever experienced an anxiety attack, and admittedly she had not. TWO choices are NOT always available to me. Sometimes there ARE no choices. Sometimes, it's all I can do to get up and send the kids off to school. Sometimes, I just have to turn the car around and go back home because there are no TWO choices. I can only give it to the anxiety.
TWO children who look to me for guidance. TWO children who I fail every day. TWO adults who are muddling through life/marriage trying to keep our heads above water. TOO many times I give in to the selfish nature that I struggle with over and over again.
But ONE God. . . who hears me even when I don't have the words to cry to Him. ONE God who knows that in the deepest part of my heart, I truly want to serve Him. ONE God that that has promised me, that even when the walls and world around me feel like they are falling down. . . HE IS ALWAYS THERE.
