As I've been thinking about how fast life seems to be passing, I have really started wondering what I am doing with it! I have these ideas of what I would like to do. Sometimes it's during that day. Sometimes it's in a week or two. Sometimes it's a bucket list kind of thing, but recently I've been reminded how quickly time is passing. And each day that passes is one I'm never getting back. The things I didn't do that day, have one less opportunity to get done.
My kids are growing up so quickly. I've started to realize that my baby is no longer my baby. And I need to get a grip on that. We've been struggling through the issue of responsibility. My daughter has always been way more responsible than my son - maybe it's a boy girl thing I don't know. However, I am realizing that it is in part due to how my husband and I treat him. We have not taught him responsibility. We don't want him to feel the sting of a consequence and so we "help" him out. We make it so that he doesn't really feel the consequence - thus producing a child who doesn't know how to be responsible. Case in point: My children both have agendas from their school. Each day they are to bring them home for the parents to look at and sign. In my son's class, if they have it signed 3 days in a week, they get "Fun Friday" which is a free time class that they can do as they please (within reason of course!) Yesterday my son came home and was in a panic by about 5 o'clock. He didn't have his agenda for us to sign, and he hadn't brought it home on Monday either. My first reaction was to send my husband to the school to see if they could find it. "Thankfully" he was not yet home (I was teaching and couldn't go) and he didn't arrive home until 6 pm or so, when the classrooms would be closed. My next thought was to write his teacher a letter explaining that Peyton had forgotten, and making excuses etc. After taking some time to think about this I realized we were just making excuses for him and trying to fix something that actually required consequences! If he missed a class time of fun, surely it would not scar him for life. So this morning we told him, that he would be facing the consequences this time and we would not be fixing it for him. (Let me tell you, it makes a Momma's heart break when you see those tears stream down his face. But I KNOW in the end, he will learn his lesson). Each day I "baby" him, is one less day that he has to learn responsibility. I know it's better for him to learn responsibility sooner than later!!
As I've thought about the passing of time, I've started to wonder what I am doing with each day. How I am making each day count - in my life, in my family's life, in my walk with God etc. It has really challenged me to take a step back and look - really look into what I am doing with my days here on earth.
And so with those thoughts in mind this week, my Wednesday weigh in is more about my heart than my health. I have started to ask God to show me the areas in my life that need changing. Rearranging. It is terrible. Awful. You know - those things that you KNOW need it, but now God just keeps dangling them in my face. The afternoon that I was wrestling with some of this, there was one specific thought, rather attitude, that kept nagging at me. Start here. Start with this one. This is the one that if you truly want to change, needs to change first.
I have to tell you, I am still struggling with it. It has a tight grip on my heart. It's something, I don't want to break. I don't want to give up. I want to hang on to it because it gives me a certain amount of power. A certain amount of control. That I like. That makes me feel like I am in charge. But I know it's something that God is calling me out on. And so while changes have not come too easily, I continue to pray that God will help me WANT to change. That He would change my heart first so that I can surrender that stronghold to Him. That attitude that is quite truthfully rooted in sin needs to be loosed. I'm not quite sure how to do that because it has such a grip on my heart. However, as I've been praying about it this morning, I feel God telling me this: do ONE THING today to change that attitude. Don't just pray. Take the first step. Do something small that will start to kick out the stronghold of that attitude. And each day, take another step. Regardless of how tiny it is. But CONSCIOUSLY each day, do something specific that deals with that attitude.
So today, that's my weigh in. And I'll come back to you next week with a response as to how it has gone. My gut reaction is to think "Well, it likely won't amount to much" but I know if I think negatively, it will get negative results. So I promise, I will share with you how well I've done this week! ;-)
As for my health challenge, this week has been a fairly good week. I've been on the treadmill 3 times this week. My goal is 4 times each week, but seeing as this is my 2nd week doing this, I'm happy with 3. My son keeps me motivated to do squats, so I've been able to do them 5 times this week - and I'm still able to stand! HA HA! For the most part we've eaten healthy. My portion sizes are staying down, and while I've had a few "give ins" (especially on the weekend - I find that the most difficult!) I am proud of how I have stayed the course so far. This week, I didn't have any weight loss, but I did lose an inch in my waist and that excites me!!! And the other thing, I find I'm actually enjoying walking on the treadmill! Go figure! But what it also does is motivate me to watch what I'm putting into my body. If I am going to work so hard to be on the treadmill, I surely don't want to mess it up by eating things that are going to hinder all that hard work!!!
So that's my week - past, and what I hope to do in the future.
Trusting you had a good week as well!!! One last little tidbit I thought I'd share is this. I was listening to Christine Caine's podcast on CHANGE this past week and got some really great thoughts, one of which I'd like to share with you. "We cannot go out and change the world if we have not changed on the inside. "Love the Lord your God with all YOUR HEART" Change has to start with the heart. It comes from the inside out. You reproduce who you are not what you want." So I am asking God to change me from the inside first. Another of her comments was this: "The more I allow God to change me, the more God can use me." WOW! It's scary, but I want that. I want that for you too!
If you are interested in listening to Christine's podcast about CHANGE, you can find it here : Christine Caine The Change message is from November 17, 2014.
Blessings on you as you seek God's direction in YOUR life!!!!
