Three days - 3 things to give up

As I sit here thinking about the first Good Friday, I am reminded of what one of my children commented on this past week.  We were talking about Easter and Peyton asked, "Why would they call it GOOD Friday?"  As we chatted about it, he commented that really there was nothing good about what happened that day at all.  We chatted about Judas betraying Jesus. We also chatted about what Jesus went through on the way to His death, and how He KNEW all of these things were about to happen, yet He did nothing to stop it.  He did it all willingly.  We also talked about how still to this day, when we have taken God out of so many areas of our world, we STILL take a day off to celebrate Christ's birthday, and Christ's death.  "Why would people do that if they don't believe God exists, and they don't even want to follow God? Just for a holiday I guess."

As I've thought about that concept and what Christ gave up, I have wondered what I would be willing to give up - for even my family.  Christ gave His life.  When I think of that, it's overwhelming.  And when I think of the fact that He knew of everything that He would have to endure to go through that, it brings me to tears.  AND He would have done it even if it would only have been for me!  That's how much He loves me.

I expect I will never have to give up my life for my family.  But today, as I think about what Christ gave up to save me, I sit here thinking about what I can give up my family to make life better for them.  In some respects giving up my life would be easier.  In the end it would be heroic.  I'm sure it would make headlines.  "Mother gives up life to protect her family."  AMAZING!  But it's the little things that I'm thinking about.  The things that are "hoarded" right up in my heart that I'm not willing to give up.  It's those roots buried deep inside that cause rifts and tears.  That cause pain.  That cause tears in the very grain of the fabric that wraps up our family together.

And last night as I lay in bed, I wondered. . . what would I be willing to give up?  This stubborn, closed off, short fused Mamma.  What would I be willing to give up?  As I thought about it, I realized that Christ died for all those things that I find so difficult to give up.  His very death was because I am impatient, selfish, unglued, unforgiving person.  I'm hanging on to the very things - those very things that Jesus Christ shed His blood - gave His life for.  I'm STILL HANGING ON TO THEM!!!!

So today, for a moment, I will try to nail those things back onto the cross that Christ died on.  I won't take those sins back.  I will put them up there on the tree and say "Jesus - thank you for dying for THOSE sins."  What will you put back up on the cross today?  Those things that Jesus died for - what are you holding close - unable to give back?  What are you holding. . . hiding. . . unwilling to give up?

I challenge you to take three very specific things in your life.  One for each day of Easter.  One for every time that Peter betrayed Jesus - yet Jesus still forgave Him.  One for every part of the Trinity. One for every cross on that hill. Three things.  Here are mine:  1.  I'm going to give up the walls of protection that I've built around my heart and be vulnerable.  2.  I'm going to strive to hold my tongue from speaking things that are hurtful. 3. I'm going to strive to be a patient Momma and not come unglued.  Those are my three. Three days - three things. And I know I can't do it without Christ's help.  So I will focus on the fact that He died for those three things.  It's because of those three sins in my life, that He was willing to go through the pain and agony. . . the torture. . . and be hung on a cross.  For those three things. . . Those things that I find difficult to let go of.  He died for those.  Am I willing to give them up?

What are your three things?

As you focus on Christ's death and resurrection this year, here's a song you may have heard in the past - but done to the story of Christ's death.  I've always loved the sound of this song, and now it brought a whole new appreciation for it!

Expectations vs Experience

I read a blog this morning from Ann Voskamp and it sure got me to thinking.  I really encourage you to read it When you are struggling and HOLY week is just hard.

These last couple of weeks have really been a struggle.  A struggle to find joy.  A struggle to be positive.  A struggle to not slide down the staircase of despair.  I know my life is not as bad as others.  I know my family is all healthy.  I know that for all accounts, I should be thankful.  I should be grateful.  But these days, those words are difficult to swallow.  Those words don't show up to readily on the tip of my tongue.  Those words. . . . feel like just words.

I think if I had to categorize it, it would be summed up into one little phrase. . . let down by my expectations. Letting go of what I had hoped for.  Changing what my hopes or dreams or expectations are.  I know I have written about this before.  And I guess that's just me. . . knocking my head against a wall yet again.  I thought I'd learned those lessons "the last time", but here I sit - with unfulfilled expectations.  And whose fault is that???  MINE!!!!  I create these little scenarios in my mind and then when it doesn't pan out the way I expect, I am disappointed.  And I sit and wonder WHY NOT?  What's wrong with what I had hoped for?  And I guess in and of itself, there's nothing wrong with what I'm hoping for - expecting - except for the fact of how important they are to me.  How much value am I putting in those expectations?  When they don't pan out, how do I react?

And I guess as I read Ann's blog, it just kind of made me shake my head and wonder.  Yes.  Here it is days away from Easter. . .  and I am consumed by my expectations.  My broken expectations.  My struggles.  This holy week IS hard.  It is a struggle this year.  But there is so much more.  I just want to share a little of what she wrote - but hope you take the time to read it all through.

He has touched our tears. He has cupped our broken hearts with His scars. He has whispered to the howl, “I know, I know. And I’ve come to begin the making of all things new.” We believe. Because we know. He knows our grief. We know His goodness. And the truth is – we don’t need an explanation from God like we need an experience of God.

And that is exactly what we get.

We get that experience of God when He stretches open His arms on that Cross and cries,

“For you. For all your regrets and for all your impossibles,
for all that will never be and for all that once was,
for all that you can’t make right and for all that you got wrong,
for your Judas failures and your Peter denials and your Lazarus griefs,
I offer to take the nails, the sharp edge of everything, and offer you myself because I want you, to take you,
you in your wild grief,
you in your anger and your disappointment and your wounds and your not-yet-there,
you, just as you are, not some improved version of you, but you – I came for you, to hold you, to carry you, to save you.”

The thanks, the yes — it could come like sweet relief.

The broken hearts — they could re-member.

The lament — it could be absorbed in love.

And I taste of holy week, taste of what of runs from that Tree, taste and experience grace and He is good.

It really did put my expectations into perspective when I actually stopped to think of what this week means to me.  I really just want to take this week and EXPERIENCE God. I love her quote:  We don't need an explanation from God - we need an experience. I am going to try to take the remainder of this week and focus on what Christ did for me - instead of the broken expectations.  Focus on what it cost Him - HIS LIFE!  For ME!  And really my lost expectations are pretty tiny in comparison to what Christ did for me.  He died, but He lives.  And it's because of that, that I can have the greatest expectation of all - to live with Him one day.

I was reminded of this verse this morning (Thx Jeannie!)

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Trusting we can go together into the remainder of this week and truly experience God.  To put the expectations away - and just focus on what God has done for us.  And be reminded of His faithfulness to us.