Conversations in the quiet

One would think that with all that I have been through over the years I would have learned my need for God.  You would think after all the times that I have struggled through the mire, I would learn that I cannot do things on my own.  Sad as it is, I eventually come crawling back to God and beg Him to help me out of the mire.

How thankful I am that even in those times of stubbornness and insisting to myself that "I can do it", God doesn't give up on me and still comes to my rescue.

One thing that in the last few weeks I have been trying to do is go directly to Him - with my small things.  I'm thinking that even if I am going to Him with my small things, my first response will be to go to Him with my big things.

Don't get me wrong. . . I'm not just talking about asking here.  I'm talking about everything.  My joys - big and small.  My gratitude. My every day responses.  One thing that I have the luxury of is that I have many days at home by myself.  I am learning to speak with God through out my day - and for me that includes verbal conversation.  Talking to God as I work, cook, clean whatever.  Now I get that if you still have kids or others around you, that might now work for you, but I am SO enjoying this bit of freedom that I have to converse with God.

The last couple of weeks I've struggled with several different issues and it's been refreshing to talk them out with God.  There are times that I wish He would just speak to me audibly, but it has been amazing how many times I've gone to Him and the answer is a peace in my heart.  Not necessarily a door being opened or closed.  But a peace that I can't necessarily understand.  Monday afternoon as I "chatted" with God about some of my anxieties and feelings of insecurities, He prompted a friend to drop by a flower for me that reminded me that God has me.  That those insecurities are not what He thinks of me and not necessarily what others think of me!  (Thank you Shannon F. for blessing me - and listening to God's prompts!!!)   So often I believe we over look the little things that cross our paths that I believe are God's little moments or gifts to us.

So as I've talked with Him over the last few weeks, it has opened my eyes to those prompts - those gifts that He gives to me.  I think so often we don't see God in things.  We go about our day and don't see what He is placing right in front of us.

I realize that not all of you have the luxury of a quiet house, but I encourage you to take those times that you do get and speak to God.  Of all the things that lie in your heart. The joys, the struggles, the gratitude.  I truly have felt that as I have spoken audibly to Him, I've started to see and hear Him more too.  It's cool because I truly never thought it would turn around that way.  It started out as a way for me to focus on my praying - and in turn it has turned my eyes to praising instead.