Adoption: Blessings in the form of my daughter

One of my favorite pictures of my daughter and I when she was only 5 years old.  PRECIOUS MEMORIES!

Over thirteen years ago, my husband and I decided to start on the journey of adoption.  We had been married for about 12 years at that point, and over the years had been told that we would not be able to conceive a child through natural means.  This did not come as a shock to us as we had never used birth control.  So after receiving that information from our fertility doctor, we decided that we would go ahead and look into adoption.  Neither of us new much about this journey, although I grew up with a younger friend who was adopted and through my Bible School years my best friend was also adopted, so heard a lot from her.

We decided to explore the avenue of Adoption Options here in Manitoba.  (Adoption Options Manitoba).  What a wonderful organization.  They are an open adoption agency which means that the birth mother/father and the adoptive family maintain contact through out the child's growing up years.  The way it works is this. Once a birthmother decides to place her child for adoption, a file is started sharing all her information as well as stating what sort of family she would like her child placed with.  Information such as the amount of contact, spiritual preferences, home situation, family size etc. is all included.  Then, when a prospective adoptive family comes in, we also start a file sharing all our information.  We shared what our thoughts of adoption were, what type of child we were interested in (race, scenario of conception, drug abuse, etc.), our desires for the amount of contact, our history both medically (infertility) as well as a family (children vs no children) etc.  Once the birthmom finishes her file, she is matched up with several perspective adoptive families and she is able to choose, and ultimately meet with a couple.  If she doesn't feel comfortable with that family, she is able to choose a different family with whom in the end she would be comfortable to place her child.

Wait times for adoptive parents can vary from a few months to several years, to never at all.  In our case, we truly believe God had His hand in this entire process.  From the time our file became active, to the time we got a call that we had been matched with a birth mother, it was only 8 months!!!  We were shocked!  The day that we met our birth couple was an emotional day.  We knew it was only a meeting.  A meet and greet if you will.  In the end, that day turned out to be the very day our birth parents choose us to parent their baby!!!  To make a long story short, three short weeks later, they were placing our beautiful baby girl in our arms.  I can truly say that that day was one of the most agonizing moments in my life.  I could hardly feel joy for the sadness and ache I felt for our birth mother.  The incredible gift she was giving to her daughter must have been the most agonizing decision for her.  How could I ever repay her???

Our amazing and beautiful birth mom with her/our daughter!  Like mother like daughter - just look at those smiles!!!

That was 12 and a half years ago, and there is no way that I ever could have imagined how beautiful our story would turn out.  As it turns out we have an amazing relationship with our birthmom.  We get to see her 2 or 3 times a year, and more if we decide to.  She comes over for our daughters birthday and for Christmas and we love her like she is part of our family because to us she is.  She is so much more than our daughter's birth mom.  She is our gift giver.  And the question of how to ever repay her?  All I can do is bless her back by encouraging the relationship between her and my daughter.  We are all a team.  We love our daughter, and simply want the best for her.  God has blessed us not only with a daughter, but with a birth mom and an added blessing is that when we get to see her, we also get to see her son as well - a half brother for our daughter.

In the middle of this story is the fact that once our daughter was 2 years old, we found out that not only did we have an adopted miracle daughter, but I found out I was pregnant, something the doctors had said would never happen.  We were always thankful for our relationship with our birth mother, but now, having a biological son, we were able to share biological information with our daughter as well about her families.  We have been so blessed to be a part of our birth mother's life and family. We have enjoyed the opportunities to meet her extended family and feel like God has brought our two families together.  What amazing blessings to know that our daughter's birth grandparents have been praying for her and us as we grow together. What blessings to be able to have our daughter meet them and get to know them a little bit.  WHAT BLESSINGS!!!

Before we knew how any of this was going to turn out, God had laid a plan.  God had provided a birth mother for us and a family for her to parent her child.  God designed it that way and I truly believe He has big plans for her.  She was given to God the day she was laid in my husband's arms, and I know He will use her mightily.

And now as I watch my 12 year old daughter turn into a woman, I am blessed!  Her love for Jesus, her desire to grow and be like Him is so evident.  She came home from a retreat at a camp this past weekend and rewrote her message notes so that she would be able to read them clearer in the future and be reminded of what lessons God had taught her.  I am blessed by a Bible study that she and I are doing together every Thursday - something she initiated.  (We are both reading a version of the book made to crave and trying to strive to put our desires solely in Christ, rather than on things).  And so it was with my precious daughter in mind that I read Lysa TerKeurst's blog this morning, and wanted to share a part of it with you.  She lists 10 prayers we can pray for our daughters.  To read the whole blog, feel free to click here 10 Prayers for your daughter

I am so grateful for God blessing me with my daughter.  I am amazed and humbled that He chose me to be her momma and that He has also allowed me to have that relationship with her birth mother as well.   OH HOW I AM BLESSED!!!!

I trust you will find your blessings today as well!

~Sharon

10 Powerful Prayers to Help You Fight for the Heart of Your Daughter:

1. Give my daughter a deep desire to listen to You, Lord, and pray often, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?” (Joshua 5:14b).

2. Let her learn early in life that to obey You, God, is the best way to the life her heart truly desires, (1 Samuel 15:22).

3. May she find comfort in Your ability, God, to reach her, hold her, and rescue her, (2 Samuel 22:17-18).

4. May she please You, Lord, by desiring, asking for, and utilizing a discerning heart full of wisdom, (1 Kings 3:9-12).

5. Let her find confidence in You, God, even when hard times come and she doesn’t know what to do, by keeping her eyes fixed on You, (2 Chronicles 20:12).

6. Give her a great desire to accept Your word, God, and store up Your commands within her so her ears will turn to Your wisdom, (Proverbs 2:1-2).

7. May she keep herself under control and not give full vent to people and situations that anger her, (Proverbs 29:11).

8. Give her the ability to rise above the traps of people pleasing so she can be kept safe by trusting You, Lord, (Proverbs 29:25).

9. Let her walk in the security of Your assigned worth to her. Give her a strong work ethic and health to accomplish all her tasks. Give her a heart that desires to extend her hand to those in need. Protect her for the right husband, a man of respect and godly honor. And let her be a woman of joy and laughter whose Christ-centered character is what makes her most beautiful, (Proverbs chapter 31).

10. And every time you, Jesus, whisper, “Follow me” she does so with great grace, (Matthew 4:19).