Longing for Home

Living in Steinbach is something I never in a million years would have dreamed I would be doing.  Growing up on a farm in southern Ontario, I was a farmer's daughter.  A home girl.  Sure, I had been to Holland with my family, but adventure was far from what I imagined my life to be.  At 18, I pretty much had a good picture of what my life would look like. I had my life mapped out and it had nothing to do with moving away from home. It had nothing to do with moving thousands of kms away from family!

God, on the other hand, had different plans for me.  He up and moved me first to Saskatchewan, where I met Keith and where he is from, then to BC and finally to Manitoba where we ended up (kind of by default!) here in Steinbach. Initially, Steinbach was just going to be a blip on the radar of our life until we decided where we were going to move to (my vote was Ontario!!!) but in the end, God planted us here in Steinbach and that is what we now call home.

Even though we have now put down roots here, and have made friends here in this town, and have our own little family - which thankfully includes our extended family in Taylor's birthmom and son, we so often miss our extended families that are in other provinces.  We often feel lonely here in a town that thrives on family and family gatherings.  I remember in the early days when we lived here in Manitoba, we would drive around Steinbach (it was definitely a form of self torture!) on Thanksgiving, or Christmas or New Years and see all the families doing the holiday things.  And here we were just the two of us.  Our families were far away.  I have to say those holidays were some of the most difficult times we have had.  Knowing everyone else around here was enjoying family time, yet we were just the two of us.  In the years following, we have been blessed to be able to create our own family times, and have also had many years where we WERE able to spend Christmas or other holidays with family, but I have to admit, many other times through out the year, I have a strong yearning to go home.

I am thankful for the relationships that I have with my family, and SO thankful for the conveniences of email and texting etc., but it truthfully doesn't bring my family here.  Sometimes, I'll have to admit, it is almost easier not to have contact with them because when I do, it makes me miss them even more.  I know. . . it's not being thankful for what I have - and it IS hard to do that sometimes!  It's hard always having to ask others for help.  With not having family around, we really never "dated" while we had kids b/c we never had family around to help out with the babysitting. When we need help with jobs around our home, we don't have family that can come on over in a pinch and help out. It's hard always having to ask others for help.  I know our kids have missed out on opportunities to live close by to their grandparents and their aunties and uncles and cousins.  When they have school plays or other events, they don't have family that gets to come and watch. Those things are difficult.

However, on the other side of it, we get to go on vacations to family that allow our kids to actually "live" for a week or two with their extended families.  We get to wake up with them and spend the entire day together.  We get to experience our families in a different way than those here in Steinbach do that see their families on a regular basis.  We long to be with our families, and when we do get those opportunities it's a celebration!  An exciting time to look forward to.  There is always lots of planning, packing etc. and a big anticipation for that reunion.

I was reminded of that last night as I spoke with my brother, making plans for when my parents come from Ontario to Manitoba.  We plan on meeting my brother in Saskatchwan where we will do "the exchange" and he will get to bring our parents to his home for a time of celebration with his family. But we are both eagerly anticipating seeing each other as well.  And when I told my kids this morning that Opa & Oma would be coming and they'd get to see some of their cousins, the excitement already started - even though the event is 2 1/2 months away.

As I thought about that meeting, I was struck by how excited I was to get to see my parents and my brother.  I thought about the possibility of heading home to Ontario in fall.  I thought about that longing I have to see and spend time with my extended family, and it got me to thinking about whether I long for Christ's return.  Am I longing for to head to see my Heavenly Father?  Is there that yearning to meet up in Heaven so that I can spend time with Him?  I get homesick for my family at times, but do I get homesick for Heaven?  For my Saviour?  I think at times when there are those voids in my life and I can't quite pinpoint that ache, I sometimes wonder if that isn't the void that we feel because truly as Christians we aren't complete until we are in Heaven.  We are here on earth for a short while and then our true destination is the day when we get to sit at God's feet and praise Him. 

Recently I read through 2 Corinthians 5:1-10 and was reminded of what it will be like to get to Heaven.  I truly believe that is the void we feel.  Sometimes there is a void in our lives that nothing and no one can fill.  As Christians I truly believe that is because we are not yet whole.  We are missing our communion with Christ!  In verses 5-7 it reads Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight!!!  I know there are days when I am consumed with my life here, but as I spend time in God's word. . . as I focus on praising Him, as I think about what Heaven has waiting for me, I DO get excited.  In part, it is for the human things.  I know the loneliness that I feel will be gone.  I know the aches and pains of this world will be gone.  When Keith went through his accident, I know Heaven became more real for him because He would have a whole body back.  He'd be able to walk and dance like never before.  Those are human images of why we want to be in heaven.  But when I think of the praise and worship that we will have there, wow, does that ever excite me.  When I think of standing before God and worshiping Him - that nearly takes my breath away.

And it makes me want to take every thing I hold dear and change my focus.  The packing and prepping that I do when I get to go see my family pales in comparison for what I need/want to do to get ready for Heaven.  I want to be the best.  I want to be able to present my best for Christ.  I want to be able to show Him, (NOW and then too) how much I love Him.  I want my life to be focused on the fact that one day I will get to spend the rest of eternity with my Savior.  The one who saved me from the worse punishment imaginable.  Recently, I heard the saying (and I can't quite remember who to give the credit to) that went like this:  It's not what I've done for You, Lord - it's what You've done for me.  Sometimes I get consumed by doing "the right" thing for God.  Making sure I do enough.  But really, if my focus is on what He has done for me, it completely changes my motives for doing stuff for God.  I am not doing it because I should or have to, I am doing these things out of pure gratitude.  And when I think of what He has done for me, I can't help but praise Him.  But serve Him.  I can only think of that moment when I will see Him face to face.  Sometimes I am just overtaken with emotion when I think of that moment.  It just humbles me, but wow does it excite me.

One of my favorite songs, if not my favorite, is a song by Mercy Me called I CAN ONLY IMAGINE.  Sometimes, when I get consumed by life I deliberately listen to this song because it completely puts things into perspective.  It makes me focus on the point of my life. Take a listen to it and see if that doesn't just get you excited to go to Heaven!!!

Today as you go through your days activities, focus on those things yes - but let's keep today in perspective.  Soon - we will be reunited with the One who saved us.  The One who loves us more than any other could.  The One our heart was designed to long for.  The One we are homesick for.  Let's be homesick for our Heavenly Father!!!!